Missouri Family Law Blog

The other day, a salesperson really ticked me off. This was one of those faceless customer service people on the phone. After an hour of not getting what I needed, I escalated the call to the next level, then the next level. Several days passed, without resolution. Finally, a week later, I got the issue resolved.

The entire time that I was dealing with these folks, each one “apologizing” for the inability of the one before to assist me, I thought about my own profession and the requirement that each of us delivers competent service. Yes, yes, I know: you have your own horror story about your divorce lawyer and the failures that you perceive in his or her conduct of you divorce or custody case.

The difference is that in my profession, we have an ethical standard, and if we do not meet that standard, you can complain to an official board that will investigate and levy punishment if we have not fulfilled our ethical mandate. Make no mistake about it: Lawyers are punished. Each month, when the Missouri Bar Journal arrives in the mail, I turn first to the “Disciplinary Actions” section to see who is listed. It’s a bit like reading the obituaries: If my name does not appear, I go ahead and eat breakfast.

No, it doesn’t come as a surprise — you get warning first. A letter, containing a copy of the complaint. You answer. You are obligated to make your file open to the committee. They send your answer to the complainant. They make an initial decision. Sometimes it escalates to the next level, which functions as a prosecutorial body. It’s scary, I assure you. I have had 2 or 3 complaints against me, all resolved in my favor — but each of which I took very seriously.

Divorce lawyers are subject to more complaints than most, I suspect because divorce clients need a lot of attention and don’t always feel as though it is given. Then, too, there are some complicated features of divorce, especially where pensions, investment plans, and business evaluations are concerned.

When I hear a “lawyer joke”, I cringe. Only blondes have a worse reputation than lawyers, I think; and with just as little rational basis. Most lawyers are good, honest, hard-working people who care about their clients. Many of us, myself included, awaken in the night worrying about our cases and whether we have done what needed to be done that day. Solo practitioners such as myself rarely get a vacation, and those of us who do custody cases really stress out about the outcomes. Believe me — I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I still worry about cases that I did years ago.

Lawyers are held to a very high ethical standard. If you feel your divorce or custody lawyer has not done what he or she is supposed to do, by all means, file a complaint with the Missouri Bar. Bear in mind that successful outcome is not necessarily the determinant. In every contested divorce or custody case, there will be a winner or loser. Your lawyer can do a very conscientious job, perform admirably, and honor his or her ethical mandate, but still lose.

Lawyers’ ethics are important. I, for one, strive at all times to return calls or answer e-mails, treat each client as though they are the most important client that I have, and treat the client, the opposing side and the court with respect, dignity and honor. I hope each of your lawyers does the same.