Divorce Slogs On
It has been a long four months at the Corley Law Firm. We tried eight or nine cases in two months, which each required weeks upon weeks of preparation. We are exhausted.
I like what I do; but there comes a time in every divorce lawyer’s life when they ask themselves, Why do I do this? It’s a tremendous opportunity in many ways. We can help people create futures for themselves. When we “win” (a word which used here means ‘get everything our clients want’), we feel as though we can never be as high. When we “lose” (a word which used here means ‘get nothing our clients want’), we feel as though we are, indeed, the scum of the earth.
A man sat in my office today and listened to me try to justify a court’s decision. This is a man who has custody of his 17-year-old, whose wife left him and his daughter and seems to feel she is entitled to a lot more than he is even able to give. The judge did what I can only describe as reaching a compromise — which is classically defined as “the choice no one wants”. I tried to explain how the court thought it was being fair, giving him less than he thought he should get and making him pay her less than she thought he should have to pay. He looked tired, though; and I felt a bit less than successful, even though on several major points, we had actually prevailed.
Another man warmly clasped my hand last week and thanked me for all I had done for him. I had managed to convince his wife and her lawyer that she should return to Kansas City. It is possible that not everything will go his way from here on out, but the children are back in the metro area, and he will be a half-time dad instead of a 1/8-time dad. That’s a victory, in my book.
I tried a case several weeks ago in which a 21-year-old man fought to keep his parental rights. The child’s mother had lost custody to the state because someone in her home had burned the child. My client, a mere 18 years of age at the time to the mother’s 17, had never been given a chance to have the child and desperately wanted to do so. No ruling in that case, yet. I am hopeful.
A month or more ago, I got custody restored for the mother of a seven-year-old after the father abruptly moved the child to the Lake. The mother, who has a drug-abuse history, fought to prove that she had been clean for two years and should be allowed to have custody of her child. The father bad-mouthed and slammed with no real evidence. The court saw through his blustering accusations, and gave the child to the mother full-time. But the real victory was the light in her eyes when she sat on the witness stand and acknowledged her old ways, and firmly testified that she had overcome her problems, with the love of her family and the grace of God.
I’m not sure what my record is now, unless I get credit for effort. I like what I do. I like helping people. Breaking up is hard to do, and I enjoy any chance I have to make it even just a bit easier for my clients.
Corinne Corley